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Death of Faith (Arkady Rose, 2001)

Father above
Mother below
Who can I trust?
Where do I go from

here – a dream of darkness
dream of night
dreams of blood and candlelight
dreams of blood and razors
dreams of blood and fire
dreams of rats and insanity
but always just out of reach.

I pierce my wrists with nails
self-crucifixion, such a lonely vice
my last device for worshipping a dead God
to become a dead Goddess.

A Christian Death for a pagan child
wolves in my head and holes in my hands
bloody my hands torn apart by sins of omission.

Where is the Goddess when the world falls down in your mind?
Screaming for guidance to an empty sky
no Mother to answer when I ask “Why?”
Hanging on the cross of my own sins
Pierced by your spear, I’m empty within
Where does faith go when the sky falls down?

Looking for God and finding questions
Looking for God and finding silence
Looking for God and finding darkness
Looking for God and finding
blood

Slashing my wrists I bleed only questions
There are no answers only desperate mysteries

No salvation
No solution
No redemption
No Father to pick me up when I fall.

Give me your Roman death
to hang on the wind till my soul bleeds dry
and eternity will answer for all.
A night of long knives – Krystallnacht for my heart
but am I still human enough to care?

Now I know why the Angels weep.

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About arkadyrose

Genderqueer artist, singer, musician, writer, tailor, mead-mazer and doll crafter living in Walthamstow, NE London. Periodically develop obsessions with various topics; currently it's Paganini, previously Ancient Greece and Alexander the Great, but also fascinated by Ancient Egypt and Romano-British culture. Christo-Pagan.

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